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Best wishes in whatever you decide. There is no way she will may you without you going to the temple. Any advice from people who have gone through this would be awesome. If you do believe it fully, are you not really going to want him to make the conversion ultimately. The day could come where she has to decide between her relationship with you and her church. If so, then step away from the internet and go look him in the eyes and take his hands and start asking him all the questions you asked me. You could even pass it off as you investigating the church and you stumnled accross these essays on lds. One of the most well known church prophets stated that he would rather see his own child dead in their coffin than married outside the temple.
I made the decision not to have those things when I married a non-member. This was hugely disappointing for him and created some very tense times. The city we will be living in for his residency is expensive as he is getting into a wonderful program. We have all felt it and our house seems absolutely different. The misogyny is deep in the Mormon church. She went ahead a married a non member. In the long run, being married to a nonmember has made me a better person. He will not be permitted to bless the child in front of the ward, for instance, so you will have to choose to forego that ritual or find someone else to stand in for the father, which he may not be comfortable with. A quiet, hard working immigrant but dedicated and faithful. I wouldnt encourage my kids to date a mormon.