I t is still dark, not yet five, too early to be awake. But here I am, eyes wide open. I lie in bed for a while, taking stock. How is my heart? And so I try to remember, instead, where I first heard or read these provocative, tender words. In a book? A conversation?
OUR SISTER SITES
It had been two and a half years since my year-old husband died suddenly. At least you had children together. At least they were old enough to have memories. At least they were young enough to not really understand. At least you had 15 years together.
When was the last time someone asked you that question? When was the last time you gave any thought to the condition of your heart? If you were to stop right now and honestly examine your heart, what would you find? Or, would it be anger? The scriptures tell us to guard our hearts because everything that we do flows from them Prov. All the decisions that we make, the desires that drive and motivate us, the feelings we experience, the words that we say, the thoughts that we think, they all come from our hearts. We live in a culture that says we should follow our hearts, but that could be a dangerous thing if we never take the time to examine them. Specifically, because the Bible isn't always very flattering about our hearts.
Seed questions for reflection: What comes up for you when you reflect on how your heart is doing? Can you share a personal story of a time you were able to move beyond busyness and into the state of your heart? What practice helps you examine the dark corners of your own soul? I love the question "How is your heart at this very moment, at this breath? That's so different than, "How's it going? That kind of interaction is intimate and is what is most worthwhile in living. The practice of examining the dark corners of my soul and being with another who is doing the same helps me to want it and do it all the more.